News, Views, and Shmooze....

A Whale of a Rider

So Keisha Castle-Hughes is pregnant. I read about the sixteen-year-old actress's condition  in People a week or so ago, and I'm still stymied by the almost celebratory air the news received.

Keisha isn't married, of course. Sixteen is too young to make that kind of long-term commitment, though in Australia, apparently, it's the legal age of consent.

Oh, but she does have a boyfriend of three years. And th guy's lucky that she's in Australia, because if I'm not mistaken, in this country, he'd be tried for statutory rape.

Kudos, Keisha, for setting the bar lower for all sixteen-year-olds and other teens who view you as a wholesome role model.

Pick a Tile, Any Tile

My friend Dan Bloom in Taiwan sent this to me:

Tile game is a real page turner
Saturday, August 27, 2005

Just mention Mah-Jongg to my husband and memories flood back to his
New York childhood. He recalls falling asleep to the click of the
tiles, the laughter of the ladies when it was his mother's turn to
host the weekly game in their small Bronx apartment.

Similar memories are recaptured in Mah-Jongg: from Shanghai to Miami
Beach, a beautifully-illustrated, pop culture celebration of the game
which traces mah-jongg's history from its roots in ancient China to
its popularity in the United States, where it's a mainstay among
Florida retirees.

"It's not only the game, but also the socialization and connection to
our past that keeps us together," said Boynton Beach grandmother and
mah-jongg enthusiast Helaine Roses, who plays monthly with the same
friends she played with when they were all young mothers.


This 176-page guide (which makes a great gift) is chock-full of
information not only for the experienced, but also for those who want
to learn the game of tiles in which luck as well as skill is required.
The book offers basic instruction for both the Chinese and American
ways of playing, including game etiquette and the meaning of the
tiles. There is information about mah-jongg tournaments, cruises and
online play, plus recipes for foods both Chinese (Pot Stickers) and
Jewish (noodle kugel) to nibble while playing.

In China, the game has different names depending on region and
dialect. In America, mah-jongg seems to be based on the Mandarin
pronunciation, mah jiang.

The name was patented in 1923 by Joseph P. Babcock and then mass
marketed. The National Mah-Jongg League was formed more than a decade
later providing a standard set of game rules attracting players
worldwide.

While it's unclear how mah-jongg became popular in American/Jewish
communities, the authors — Christina Cavallaro and Anita Luu —
speculate that the connection had its roots in Shanghai. European Jews
fleeing the Nazi regime were welcomed there without visas. Those who
migrated to the United States brought the game with them. Others
suggest the league's founders, many of them Jewish women, influenced
its growth. Men play the Chinese version; in the United States it's a
woman's game... though of course the fond memories linger for men like
my husband.

We have eight players in our group -- enough for two games, you'd think. But it's rare for all eight of us to be available.

Last night we couldn't get a game together.

Ditto for tonight.

I"m waiting for notes from my agent on my proposal for MIND GAMES, a stand-alone I'm eager to start writing.

Did today's Sudoku from the L.A. Times.  (Sunday's, fyi, was a killer.) And the two daily puzzles on-line.

And the Times crossword....

I need a game.

What'$ in a Name?

While surfing the Web last night for the best price for a  Motorola V710 cell phone, I came across an item on E-Bay.

A soon-to-be mom is auctioning off the name for her unborn baby.

Forbes Top Ten

I was in the kitchen, listening for the first time to KTLK Progressive Talk RAdio while I prepared chicken for Shabbat, when the show's host, John (Johnny?) announced Forbes' list of the ten most powerful women in the world.

First, note to John: The list you recited, with Hillary Clinton in the number two spot--is incorrect. (It's probably last year's list.) Hillary didn't make this year's list. Neither did Laura Bush, who was on last year's list, too.

According to Forbes:

Our second ranking of the world's most powerful women illustrates how fleeting power is. Megawati Sukarnoputri, the former president of Indonesia who lost her reelection bid, dropped off the rankings. Gone, too, is Carleton (Carly) Fiorina, booted from Hewlett-Packard. The scandal-plagued president of the Philippines, Gloria Arroyo (#4), could soon be off as well. Among the newcomers: Yulia Tymoshenko (#3), prime minister of Ukraine.

The new list:

1. Condoleezza Rice
2. Wu Yi
3. Yulia Tymoshenko
4. Gloria Arroyo
5. Margaret Whitman
6. Anne Mulcahy
7. Sallie Krawcheck
8. Brenda Barnes
9. Oprah Winfrey
10. Melinda Gates

Okay, I have to admit that I'm not familiar with more than half the names on this list.

Interesting fact: Condoleeza Rice was number one on the list John read, too, which means she's held onto her spot. Ophrah wasn't on last year's list--so congrats, Oprah. Mazel tov.

In any case, John disagrees with Forbes' top two selections.

The second most powerful woman in the world, he insists,  is J.K. Rowling, who has created a revolution in reading and who could leverage her phenominal, it-should-happen-to-me-and-all-my-writer-friends international success to shape minds and cultures.

Maybe.

John's choice for number one:

Madonna.

The entertainer, entrepreneur, material girl, mom of two, children's author, French-kissing Kabbalah cutie.

John believes that, more than anyone else, Madonna has empowered women to realize their dreams, to reinvent themselves, to break down barriers.

What do you think?

Who are your picks?

Whiten Up--or Go with the Glow?

In yesterday's L.A. Times front-page feature, "Beauty and the Bleach,"  writer Jia-Rui Chong observes that unlike Anglo Southern Californians who embrace the sun or sun-like products,

""[Margaret Qui] and thousands of other Asian American women are going to great lengths to avoid the sun--fighting to preserve or enhance their pale complexions with expensive creams, masks, gloves, professional face scrubs and medical procedures....

There's a saying. "If you have white skin, you can cover 1,000 uglinesses," said Qui, a 36-year-old Chinese immigrant who lives in Alhambra. Qui goes through a regimen of skin-whitening products twice a day.

I found the article fascinating, and surprising. Literature is full of fair-haired, fair-skinned, aristocratic heroines who set the bar for beauty and refinement. But as heroines have become multi-cultural, norms for beauty have expanded. 

Haven't they?

Perhaps. But apparently Eastern and Western ideas of beuaty are different. Says Qui:

When you see darker [in America], you think they are very rich. They have a boat. They have enough time to go to the beach.

Women with pale skin are more delicate, more feminine and show that they don't have to toil outdoors. White skin also means high class.

Tanned skin, for me, suggests the luxury of sitting on the beach or at a pool, of tennis and vacations, spas.

But I'm leery of all those ultraviolet rays and the dangers of the sun. So all summer long my friends and I have been on the prowl for tubes of Jergens Natural Glow, a color-enhancing moisturizer so wildly popular that it's been out-of-stock at most of the stores that carry it. My husband, sweetheart that he is, drove to Westwood store to snag the last two tubes.

I'm on my second tube, and a Walgreen's clerk has promised to put two away when the next shipment finally arrives.

She gave me two coupons.

Cruising Along

I've been meaning to blog about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who became officially engaged at the Eiffel Tower, but my friend Paul Guyot pretty much said it all.

Is it possible that Cruise is genuinely in love? Anything's possible. But there's something unseemly about the way he's exploiting the media by denying that he's doing so, and publicizing feelings that most people strive to keep private.

Especially when, as someone commented on Paul's blog, his children with Nicole are unlikely to appreciate their father's over-the-top expressions of adulation for the woman who has supplanted their mother.

That type of insensitivity is one reason I loathed Robert James Waller's The Bridges of Madison County, a novel that, to me, celebrates adultery. (There's an hilarious parody, The Ditches of Edison County. I think I still have the link somewhere.) I was particularly troubled by the preface, where the daughter comes across a letter from her newly deceased mother about the once-in-a-lifetime love good ol' mom found in a torrid adulterous affair with a stranger who was infinitely more exciting than dad.

Oh, and the mom gives details about where they "did it." Nice.

So I thought: The daughter will be repulsed, devastated. No child wants to have her illusions about her parents shattered. And for what purpose?

But no: The daughter says something like, "Isn't Mom wonderful?"

Come on, Tom. Show some Cruise control.

Why I Don't Love Paris...When She Sizzles

So I'm not completely crazy.

I was gratified to read in yesterday's L.A. Times that others share my reaction to the newest Carl's Jr. ad featuring Paris Hilton. If you can call it an ad...

As in a racy music video, a scantily clad Paris Hilton cavorts with a water hose as she washes a black Bentley, while singer Eleni Mandell's sultry version of Cole Porter's "I Love Paris" pulsates throughout.

After a sensuous sudsing of the Bentley and herself, Hilton takes a bite out of a new Carl's Jr. hamburger. Hilton's image then fades to a tagline echoing the reality TV star's two-word mantra: "That's hot."

"This commercial is basically soft-core porn," said Melissa Caldwell, research director for the Parents Television Council. "It's inappropriate for television."

In case you're thinking, of course the Parents Television Council would object, here's another comment:

Stuart Fischoff, a media psychologist at Cal State Los Angeles, said the Hilton commercial went well beyond other Carl's ads targeted at young men and boys.

"This could come back and bite them in the behind," Fischoff said. "We're in the throes of a culture war in this country, and for them to be pushing the envelope like this at this time could be very dangerous."

And one more:

Peter Sealey, adjunct marketing professor at UC Berkeley, said that although the ad might be remembered by viewers, it might ultimately hurt the Carl's Jr. brand.

"This is the ultimate in bimbo advertising," Sealey said. "If you are Hooters and you have buxom young waitresses, that's fine. But Carl's Jr. is more mainstream. They've got families going in there."

But according to Claudia Caplan, chief marketing officer for Mendelsohn Zein Advertising in Los Angeles, Carl's Jr. isn't targeting families. The company is targeting 18-34 year old men.

"Whatever we do has to have an effect that is multiplied over several platforms," says Caplan. "It needs to be more than just a television commercial."

That's because, Caplan explains, Carl's Jr. is "never going to have
McDonald's advertising budget or Burger King's budget." 

Poor Carl's Jr.

And poor Paris Hilton. Carl's Jr. is admittedly exploiting the hotel heiress's notoriety, and she doesn't seem to mind being exploited. But her over-the-top exhibitionist performance is tawdry and pathetic.

I know, I know. Paris is a big girl. Carl's Jr. is in the business of selling burgers.

Seems to me that the meat they're selling is Paris Hilton.

Mah Jongg Goes to the Movies

Bari Pearlman writes:

My grandmother played Mahj all the time at Shore Haven in the Bronx, and of course up in the Catskills. When she died two years ago, she left me her set, and it is one of my most loved posessions. She ended up being the inspiration for a documentary I made about Mahj called "MAH-JONGG: THE TILES THAT BIND" which is a folk history of how this Chinese game became a Jewish-American tradition.

My brother bought my sister-in-law a set a few years ago, in Hong Kong, with beautiful rosewood racks for the tiles. But the set was obviously intended for those who play the Chinese version. There were no jokers.

My sister-in-law phoned the National Mah Jongg League, which offers to replace and find tiles, but the tiles in her set were larger than standard.

So she had this beautiful set she couldn't use. Then I recalled that my friend Jan plays the Chinese version of mah jongg. I put the two together--my sister-in-law sold Jan the set and bought an American version on E-bay.

I did like those racks....

Why Brad is the Pitts

I'm not sure why I was so bothered by Brad Pitt's recent observation about the end of his marriage to Jennifer Aniston:

He [Pitt] was also reluctant to call the marriage a failure. "It's talked about like it failed. I guess because it wasn't flawless," he said. "Me, I embrace the messiness of life. I find it so beautiful, actually. The idea that marriage has to be for all time -- that I don't understand."

It's not as though Pitt, or any other Hollywood celebrity, is a role model for thoughtful behavior. But still....

Divorce is "beautiful"?

I have never met anyone going through divorce who found the experience anything but painful and wrenching.

And if Pitt truly believes that marriage isn't a permanent commitment (a statement he's made before), then the inevitability of divorce was probably there at the time he said, "I do."

He should have said, "Well, maybe. Depending on how things work out. We'll see."

According to past stories, Pitt was eager to start a family with Aniston.

Would children of divorce have been "beatifully messy" too?

Mah Jongg Magic

I had to share these comments on "Tile After Tile":

danny bee  says:

I don't play mah jong but I can HEAR it being played every night here in Taiwan. It is a real big part of the culture in Taiwan, and some people have illegal mah jong dens in their homes where people come to play for big money 24/7/365.

I don't know about China, where the communist run things, but here in democratic free Taiwan, mah jong is a major cultural habit, and especially on Chinese New Year, people play all night long until 6 am, and beyond, for good luck.

I never understand Mah Jong in the USA until I came here. You should come to Taiwan sometime and see for yourself. There are Sabbath services at the Ritz Hotel every Friday too, run by a Polish lay rabbi, Dr. Einhorn.

Z says:

...between the four of us that play, there are two sets I love. One is a set which was grabbed as the family fled the Nazis and ran for Palestine...The tiles seem to vibrate for me. The other set is now a milky caramel color and was my friend's mother's set. It has cards from National Mah Jong League dating back to the first cards that were issued. I don't have a set yet but what I wouldn't give to have one that has the memories of all the fingers that have touched it.

I love that image.

I bought my set for $50 thirty-plus years ago through the National Mah Jongg League. The colors etched on my ivory-toned tiles (the league now sells tiles in pastel shades) aren't as bright as they were originally, and the gilded Jokers, having lost some of their luster, look bronze. (I probably didn't help when, in my first year of ownership, I decided to clean the tiles for Passover. After soaking each tile in soapy water, I used a toothbrush to free the crevices in the etched characters from all traces of the popcorn and other nosh we consume while playing. I never did that again. Instead, I "sell" my mah jongg set and "repurchase" it after the holiday.)

But a sigh is just a sigh, and a Joker is still a Joker. I actually prefer the muted tone. And, as Z comments, there is history and memories in the shading that is a function of time passing, so I don't yearn for the whiter, brighter tiles in the sets the other women in my group bought two years ago on Ebay for around $80 with the help of one of our newer players, Anna, who is our Ebay expert.

I would, however, love new accessories. For over twenty-five years, mine was the only mah jongg set in the group. The brown boxes that house the tiles, the large black simulated crocodile leather case that holds the boxes and the racks--both have been battered and Scotch-taped. Every once in a while, when I gaze at the newness of my fellow player's cases, I'm tempted to replace boxes and case, but that would cost more than I paid for the set.

Our mah jongg group has held a few all-nighters. We played until our eyes were bleary, until instead of passing tiles we were on the verge of passing out.

Mah jongg has also connected me with people around the country. Through the game I "met" the owner of Where the Winds Blow, a site for mah jongg lovers. And I've picked up an occasional game away from home. Several women whom I met when I spoke at the Houston Jewish Community Center's book fair have become friends. They are avid mah jongg players and invite me to a game when I'm in town. (One of the husbands is an ardent player. He won a mah jongg tournament in Las Vegas.)

The last time I was in Houston, they arranged a tournament in my honor. These women play well, with a speed that I would love to import to my own game, which can be sluggish at times.

As it turned out, I won most of the games that day. And I haven't been invited back to Houston since.

Just a coincidence, I know. :-)